Mindful Parenting: Explaining Tragedy

Traumatic events like the crash of Asiana Flight 214 can be difficult for any child to comprehend, and explaining these tragedies to young children can be a daunting task for parents. 

Dr. Prakash Masand, CEO of Global Medical Education (GME), an online medical education resource that provides timely, unbiased, evidence-based medical education and advice, and a faculty member of the Department of Psychiatry at the Columbia University Medical Center in New York, says while these conversations can be difficult, they are necessary for the mental health and well- being of your children.

His advice to make it easier for parents:

·         Ask questions and be supportive – Never assume your child fully understands tragic events.  Children have wild imaginations and have a hard time sorting their emotions out during a tragedy.  Ask direct questions like, “what are you feeling” and “what’s bothering you” to fully understand what’s going through their mind. Never ridicule or make fun of a child’s feelings and always offer support.

·         Encourage children to express feelings – This can be done through talking, drawing, playing or whatever means makes the child more comfortable.

·         Honesty pays – explain to your children that although a plane crash is rare, unfortunately it does happen from time to time.  Put it into perspective for your child by showing them just how many planes take off and land safely everyday around the world, and explain to them that pilots and flight crews undergo extensive amounts of training.

·         Remain calm – Children love to mimic the behaviors of their parents. The way adults react to events is often the way the child perceives and reacts to the event so try and stay calm.

·         Maintain a child’s routine – After a traumatic event, stick to your child’s normal routine.  Go to sleep and wake up at the same time, eat meals at the same time, and engage in every activity you usually do.  Ignoring a child’s routine after tragedy will make him or her feel more anxious.

·         Reinforce a sense of security - Over the next few days, spend a little extra time with your child to reinforce feelings of safety and security.

·         Recognize a real phobia vs. a simple fear – Most children are afraid of one thing or another and most of them outgrow these simple fears.  When a child has a real phobia, you want to look for signs of obsessive behaviors and thoughts, avoidance behaviors, recurring dreams/nightmares and being unable to become excited about something that should be fun.  This is when parents should consider professional help.

Mindful Parenting: Traveling, I and My Kids

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Juvenile delinquency—one of the biggest problems that the society is facing nowadays and this is primarily because of the lack of guidance and the failure of most families to spend quality time together. With that being said, I have just the solution for you—go out on a family vacation! Surely, this is one of the most fun antidotes to any sickening societal diseases these days. Not only will you relieve your stress from everyday work, but you would also be able to promote familial bonding.

Nevertheless, traveling with children may be difficult and stressful, especially if you don’t apply certain measures that can make your traveling experience happy and productive.

·       The Needs vs. the Wants: Unlike when you were single, you need to consider the needs of your partner and your children whenever you’re packing for a vacation. Also, you must keep baggage restrictions in mind if you are going to ride by plane.

Therefore, you need to travel light. Remember that the lighter your luggage is, the more convenient and bicep-friendly your trip will be. Also, instead of folding, roll your clothes as tightly as you can. This will consume less of the space in your bag and will guarantee you clothes free from those unwanted creases from folding.

·       Facing the What If’s: You’d never know what might happen, so even if you are sure that you are going to supervise your kids the best way you can, there is no way you can watch over them 24/7. It is best that you orient your kids on what they should do in case they become lost. Also, always leave a contact card on the pockets or bag of your children.

·       Be Interactive: The goal of your travel is to spend quality time with your whole family, and not to sleep all day and bore your children in the cabin. Now, the best thing for you to do as a parent is plan activities ahead of time. Aside from booking reservations in hotels, try to look for tourist spots which will enable you and your kids to bond together the most enjoyable way. Often times, there are packages that include multiple activities for both adults and children, especially in areas where tourists usually flock.

·       The Power of Museums: Way back, museums are regarded as the most boring place you could ever be, but thanks to the modern technology and to public funds, of course, both children and adults are given the chance to learn in the most interactive way. Anyway, spending 1 hour or so in a museum would never hurt.

·       Do Chores Together: There is no better way of spending quality time together than doing chores while on a campsite. Setting up a tent and grilling burger patties and marshmallows together in the beachside is truly an exciting prospect for you and your kids.

·       Bring Home Souvenirs: Even though you have promised yourself not to buy any souvenir, the tendency is that your children would always want to buy something in memory of your wonderful trip. Aside from the dozen of pictures you’d bring home, it is always better for you to save space on your baggage for any possible item you might bring home.

About the Author:

Janella Giselle Domingo is a travel ambassador and blogger from Jurnii's Rv Rentals.They offer cruise from sydney and other services. Aside from blogging, she is also currently employed as a Chief Pharmacist at Wesleyan University Hospital and Cardiovascular Center.Despite of her busy schedule as a Chief Pharmacist, she never forgets to indulge in her wanderlust. Connect with her at facebook or drop a line at janellagdomingo@gmail.com.

Mindful Parenting: "Just" Play?

Do you ever think your kids are "just playing?" Think again. There's a recent post over at Smart Play (I'm a MCM ambassador) about the role play has in executive function. For those of you who didn't study psychology or anatomy in detail, "executive function" covers self-control, memory, attention, and related skills. I've read plenty of books and articles about the lack of play, and how it can also affect kids' emotions and a host of other things in a negative way. So be sure to encourage lots of play with your kids. And play with them yourself as well - show them that just because you get older doesn't mean you have to stop having fun and imagining things!

Mindful Parenting: Building Baby's Confidence Through Sign Language

When children at an early age experience disappointment in communicating over and over again it significantly affects their confidence. We learn through patterns and repetition. When a child can’t effectively engage in either, it becomes frustrating for the child and the parent. The consequences usually end in the child avoiding social interaction, throwing tantrums, and losing self-confidence. By using baby sign language I was able to bypass some major developmental issues that my son was having.

Ben, my third child, has been my most shy and slowest to want to verbalize. He always had a hard time pronouncing things. He struggled to get his mouth to produce the “R” sound, and he frequently omitted the “S”, “Th”, and “Ch” sounds in many words. The poor little guy was getting so frustrated when people couldn’t understand him. He would either avoid talking and interacting or he’d start screaming and throwing a tantrum. I’ve worked with many parents who have dealt with similar problems. They tend to feel overwhelmed and confused because they don’t know how to help their child.

With Ben I decided that anytime I found out what he was trying to say I would teach him the sign language for that word. It was like a miracle! He knew that I could understand him if he used the sign, and then I was able to help him learn how to pronounce the words he was verbally struggling to say.

For instance, Ben would say “Ga” for multiple things. He’d say “ga” for water, “ga, ga” for dog, and “gaaa” for book (I have no idea why). I’d picked up on water and dog, because he was already using those signs, thank goodness. Then one day he was trying to tell me he wanted something and I had no idea what he was talking about. We wandered around the house trying to figure out what he needed. Finally he saw the book he wanted, “gaaa, gaaa, gaaa.” I never would have guessed. Right then I signed book to him, then I took his hands and had him sign book. We did it a few times until I could tell he understood. Later that night when I was putting him to bed he said “ga”. I asked if he wanted some water, he said no and started signing “book”. I grabbed a book and he started jumping up and down yelling, “yeah!” What a relief and pure sense of joy and accomplishment we both felt. That was ten times easier than wandering around the house trying to figure out what he needed.

Ben has continued to build confidence, avoid tantrums, and excel socially. I truly feel that baby sign language has enabled him to progress when he otherwise would have fallen behind and consequently lost confidence. Parents don’t typically think to use baby sign language for building confidence in their children, but I have seen it work first hand time and time again. Enabling your child to better communicate will have a positive impact on them for the rest of their lives.

About the Author: Andrea Ploehn (SAY Plone as in "hone") is an expert on nonverbal communication and teaching babies sign language. A native and resident of Salt Lake City, Utah, she holds a communications degree with an emphasis in interpersonal communication from Idaho State University. She and her husband, a physical therapist, have four children, ages 16 months through 9-years-old. For more information, visit http://www.Signing4Baby.com. Contact Andrea at AndreaPloehn@hotmail.com.